


Rainy Streets (and crowded lobbies)

by pulltab (Dekka)



Category: Video Blogging - Fandom, Youtube RPF, crankgamesplay, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation, The abuse happens between Ethan/original character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekka/pseuds/pulltab
Summary: “We need to talk.”It’s the first text Mark wakes up to, the time stamp too early to be considered morning and too late to be considered night.
Relationships: Ethan Nestor/Original Character(s), Ethan Nestor/Tyler Scheid, Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson, Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson/Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 114
Kudos: 377





	1. Chapter 1

“ _We need to talk_.” 

It’s the first text Mark wakes up to, the time stamp too early to be considered morning and too late to be considered night. 

“What’s wrong?” Amy nudges his arm and mimics the way he knows his eye brows must be pinched. “You’ve got your serious face on,” she teases. Her fingers go up gently to skirt the edge of his face, tracing the worry he knows she sees there. 

“It’s Ethan,” He says and it’s the only explanation needed. Lately things have been weird with him. He’s less himself than he used to be. 

Mark sits up in bed and tries to shake the tension from his neck. It’s barely six in the morning and he’s already dreading the day. 

“What did he say?” Amy asks. She falls back to spread out behind him, her eyes lost, tracing the ceiling like it’ll have the answers to Ethan’s text. Somehow it always feels like she knows more than she lets on. 

“He said we need to talk.” Mark expects her eyebrows to raise or something like shock to show on her face at the cryptically concerning message. “How ominous,” She says instead, tiredly. 

“Do you know what it’s about?” He cant help but think to last week when he was packing up camera equipment and Ethan and Amy sat close together on the couch, both gripping coffees to their chests as they spoke in low voices. Mark would be lying if he said he didn’t pack things up slowly at the time, trying to hang on to each word that barely reached his ears. 

“I think it’s good he wants to talk,” she says. It’s a non-answer, one the pit is his stomach doesnt seem to agree with. 

“Maybe,” Mark says, uncommitted either way. 

There’s too much to do today for him to sit around any longer. He forces himself up, texts back a simple ‘ok,’ and heads out for a run. 

***

Time never seems to move how you want it to and so naturally the day is nearly gone when Mark finally realizes Ethan will be over any minute. 

“Are you staying?” He asks Amy. 

“I think you two should talk first,” she says. 

He hates that the thought of facing Ethan alone bothers him. He’s his friend, his mentee, and things have never been like this before between them. It could be the stress of Unus Annus or maybe it’s just quarantine getting to him, but Mark feels like there’s so much more festering there. 

When Ethan finally walks in Mark feels like he’s been caught red handed, thinking too hard about him.

“Hey,” Ethan says, and shuts the front door behind himself. Mark remembers back when Ethan would knock, when they still were in the early stages of their friendship. Now, there’s too many years between them for that kind of unease in each other’s space. For the first time, that doesnt seem to translate past the foyer. 

Ethan comes up to him shuffling, like he’s forcing his feet forward. 

“You wanted to talk?” Mark asks. In the light of the living room, he gets his first real glance at Ethan. 

It’s bad. 

And the worst part is Mark doesnt know how long he’s looked like this- if it’s something gradual that happened over time or something that blew up overnight. “Did you sleep at all?” He doesnt mean to ask, but Ethan’s eyes look sunken in a way that shocks all formality out of him. 

“Yeah, a bit,” Ethan shrugs. He makes himself comfortable on the couch and grabs a pillow to hold in his lap, like armor. 

He looks young like this -younger than usual- with his ripped jeans and oversized hoodie swallowing him whole. 

“Can you sit down?” Ethan asks. “You’re looming." 

Neither of them laugh. Instead, Mark goes down robotically, perched on the very end of the couch. “We should get lunch, later,” he says, instead of asking Ethan when the last time he ate was. 

“Ok.” 

Time goes crucially slow as they sit in silence. 

“So,” Mark starts and eggs him on. 

With nimble, pale fingers, Ethan adjusts the pillow in his lap. “I met someone,” he says. 

Mark hopes the shock on his face isn't rude. “Really?” To say the conversation is taking a turn he wasn’t expecting would be a harsh understatement. 

“Yeah,” Ethan forces a watery smile, but it’s weak. "About a month ago, actually."

There’s something about him being so broken up that forces Mark to push away his own unease. “Ethan,” he calls. He waits until he looks up at him, for that eye contact to convey how serious he is, “you’re really freaking me out here, man. I just want to know what’s up so I can help you.” 

Silence weighs heavy in the air for a moment, then a moment more until Ethan breaks it. “I met someone,” he repeats. Mark doesnt think he’ll ever forget the determined, stoney look that passes over Ethan’s face in that moment. It’s like he’s hyping himself up as he squares his jaw and looks Mark down like he’s ready for the fight of his life. 

“It’s a guy and-” 

The shock value alone is enough to cut the breath from Mark’s lungs. “Oh,” he says dumbly. Even to his own ears he sounds like the breath has been forced from his chest. 

He knows what to say -what he’s supposed to say in a situation like this- but this is Ethan. He can be unfiltered with him a way he cant be with most people. “Good,” he says, “I’m happy for you- that you’ve met someone.” He means it.

What he doesn't understand is the way Ethan seems to crumple in on himself, the fight he geared himself up for seemingly lost. “Just-" Mark stops short, not knowing how to put what he wants to say gently. "I know you, Eth, and I know you’d never be this torn up about just dating a guy.”

The shrug he gets in response isn't helpful. “Maybe I just am.” Ethan sounds bitter, lost, but most of all he just sounds resigned.

After years of seeing each other at their worst, Mark knows he's seen every version of Ethan there is to see. “I don't think you are.” There’s something he cant put his finger on, something more than what Ethan’s letting on. 

It takes seconds more for small bites of the truth to come out. 

“Your opinion means a lot to me,” Ethan starts. Mark faces him head-on, wondering where the man who was ready for a fight went and how he was replaced by the quivering ball of hoodie curled up in front of him. “ _You mean a lot to me_ ,” Ethan clarifies. 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Mark cuts in. It feels right to fill the gap there, to offer reassurance as Ethan struggles through whatever comes next. 

“I think I need you to meet him.” 

It’s the tip of the iceberg, and not even a clear conclusion to their talk, but Mark can see Ethan shutting down the conversation already. 

“Then I’ll meet him,” Mark says.

And like he knew he would, Ethan ends the conversation there. “Okay, good. That's good, then. Let’s film.” 

They do their job, crack a couple of half-assed jokes, and pray editing takes care of the tension still lingering, heavy in the air. 

It’s only later, when Mark is sneaking glances up at Ethan while they’re eating dinner, that he notices Ethan glancing at his phone every couple of minutes. “Somewhere to be?” He asks. 

Shocked, wide eyes meet his. “Uh, no.” The phone gets set down and Ethan’s food gets picked back up. 

He only takes one bite before he goes back to his phone. 

Mark sighs. 

It’s enough to have Ethan guilty looking back up. “Okay, yes,” he admits. “I told Josh I’d be home by four.” 

‘ _Home._ ’ Mark hears, like white noise. “So his name is Josh?” He doesnt get why getting details is like pulling teeth. Ethan’s sate of being is due to more than just nerves, Mark knows it is. In the past, Ethan’s admitted to kissing guys, thinking about them- hell, Mark and him have had more conversations about Zac Efron than what would ever be considered healthy and neither of them ever blinked an eye. There’s more to this, and he’s going to figure it out before there’s nothing left of the crazy, bubbly kid he pulled from Maine. 

“I should go,” Ethan says. His phone is lighting up, text after text rolling in. 

“I’ll pack up your food,” Mark offers. 

They both know Ethan wont eat it. Mark has found too many full take out containers in Ethan’s fridge to assume anything different. “Thanks,” Ethan says anyway. 

***

The ball starts rolling a week later with a text from Mark: “ _Tyler’s visiting this week, you should stay over. We have the guest room ready. Maybe bring Josh, if you’re ready._ ” 

He watches the reply bubbles pop up and down over and over again until finally a reply comes through. “Ok.” 

***

Mark and Tyler barely get settled before the ‘Ethan situation’ gets brought up. 

“So what’s up with him?” Tyler asks, “I tried texting him a bunch these last few weeks. I got radio silence back half the time, one word answers the others.” 

“You just got off your flight man,” Mark tries, “I don’t want to get you freaked out. You’re on vacation.” 

Like he’s in it for the long haul, Tyler settles back on the couch. “Well if I wasn’t worried before, I am now.” 

There’s so many ways Mark could approach this, but none of them feel right. “He’s just different. I don’t know.” 

“Different how?” 

He thinks of the way him and Amy keep fitting in videos with food just to make sure Ethan eats something. “Different like he doesnt answer texts, he always comes here starving like he’s forgetting to take care of himself, and no one sees him outside required filming duties.” 

“And the new boyfriend?” Tyler asks. 

Mark shakes his head, at a loss. “Dude’s a complete mystery. I have a name and- actually I just have his name. Nothing else.” 

“Weird,” Tyler hums. 

There’s nothing left for Mark to say. He just nods. 

***

Whatever Mark was expecting Josh to be, is the opposite of what he is. 

To start, he’s tall, taller than Ethan and conventionally handsome in a way that Mark always assumed Ethan wasn’t actually attracted to. 

And he’s nice, too. 

“Hey,” he greets Mark and Tyler right away, hand out to shake theirs. His smile is wide and he has annoyingly nice teeth. 

Mark sticks his hand out to shake but Tyler keeps his arms crossed. 

“Feels kinda like meeting the parents,” Josh jokes when his nervous glance at Tyler gets him nothing but a forced smile in return. 

It’s just funny enough that Mark’s lips quirk up in a smile and Ethan’s checks flush red. 

“Yeah man, well its nice to meet you, we’ve heard a lot about you,” Mark lies. 

“All good things I hope?” Josh nudges Ethan, but if anything it just makes him tense up even more. 

It’s like all the pieces of the puzzle are right there for Mark to see, but they just wont fit together in a way that makes sense.


	2. Chapter 2

It starts like every other relationship. Infatuation, first. Then, night after night of meet-ups, texts, and the ever significant stomach full of butterflies. 

Josh is perfect.

He holds open doors, keeps a hand on the small of Ethan’s back in crowds, and somehow always knows when to back off and when to fill Ethan’s days with nonsensical texts and snap chats. 

Ethan thinks he could love him, eventually, and after just weeks together he’s chomping at the bit to tell Mark, Amy- anyone that will listen. 

Except they’re filming one day, waiting for Evan to set up his tripod when Amy asks, unprompted, if Ethan has anything planned for the weekend. 

It’s stupid, but Ethan made a whole list of movies for him and Josh to run through. They were going to order in, buy too many snacks and a pack of red bull, and see who passed out first. It was something Ethan begged Josh to do, something he’s been looking forward to for the last three days. 

He opens his mouth, but what comes out is: “I'm just watching some movies.” Nothing about Josh, or the cute date-night in. Just- nothing. And he doesnt know why. It's not like he's ashamed of Josh, and he's not really worried about how Mark and Amy would react to him dating a guy. So he convinces himself it just wasn't the right time. 

“Oh what movies?” Amy asks. 

They go on and on about sequels and the best new releases on netflix, but the whole time Ethan’s head is stuck somewhere else. 

The right day will come, he tells himself. 

Expect the chances come and go week after week as sleepless nights pile up on him. He has a hundred chances, and Amy even asks him one night if he’s been on any dates, but still, each time the moments come and go unturned. 

Glacially, in relation, things with Josh get more forced. There’s less nights spent cuddled in front of the Tv and no more walks with Spencer in the park. There’s just not the same spark that was there before and it kills him. He really thought Josh could've been the one. 

It’s only natural that reality comes crashing in soon after. It’s no one’s fault, really. Ethan is busy with the channel and Josh is trying hard for both of them, but sometimes that isn’t enough. 

“It’s not me, it’s you, right?” Josh asks him sarcastically, when Ethan brings it up. 

There’s no right response. He’s never been good with break ups. “It’s my job, it’s the channel, it’s coming out- it’s everything.” Ethan runs his hands through his hair, trying not to tug on the strands. Stress has been a constant, ebbing pain these last few weeks, living just under his skin where he can’t quite reach. 

The balancing act between Unus Annus and his personal life has been a losing battle. The videos for the channel are taking too long, he’s barely making it home before dark each night, and now, his relationship is crumbling down around him. 

On top of it all, there’s missed texts and calls from his Dad making themselves at home in his inbox. He just doesnt know what to say anymore, to anyone. 

Gently, shocking him, Josh’s hands guide Ethan’s own away from his face, where he was rubbing at his eyes. “Your hurting yourself,” he says. 

Ethan nods. His skin feels rubbed raw, his face too dry, too itchy. 

He can’t look at Josh, can’t even bear to know he’s seeing this side of him. In his lap, his hands tremble as his chest aches. He feels crazy. Everything is too much; the tv, the lights, and Josh’s concerned gaze just amplify everything. 

Somehow he knows if he doesnt get up, right now, his lungs will shake and tear their way through his chest. It’s fight or flight that forces him up, his legs moving without him as they make him pace wildly. 

“Ethan, you have to breathe,” Josh says, calm. 

Ethan spares a glance at him mid-turn. It’s funny, almost, how opposite they are. 

“You’re not filming tomorrow. There’s no way,” Josh says, sternly, “you need a break.” 

The words are enough to push Ethan’s thoughts in line and freeze his cagey pace. “What if I tell Mark about us?” It could fix everything, if he just forced himself to do it. He wouldn’t need a break then. Mark would understand that he’d need to spend more time at home. They could just edit separately, FaceTime when needed, and Ethan could keep his first successful relationship intact. 

For a split second, what could just be a trick of the light, Ethan thinks he sees Josh’s face fall. What comes out of his boyfriend's mouth though is, “Yeah, you should tell him. You should’ve told him a month ago. What if he’s mad? Isn’t he going to ask why you didn’t tell him sooner?” 

He probably will, Ethan agrees. “I’ll tell him I needed time.” It’s mostly the truth. “Plus, it’s not exactly like I’m out yet.” 

“But that’s not why you didn’t tell him,” Josh says. “You’re just going to lie to him? Again?” There’s definite hurt in his eyes now, and the guilt Ethan feels takes away his panic faster than any dose of Xanax ever could. 

He knows his reasoning was never sound. He had so many opportunities to tell Mark and he always let them pass. “I’ll do it soon then. The longer I wait, the worse it’s going to get, right?” 

“And if you do it, we can stay together?” Josh asks. There’s something different in his tone, something that makes Ethan’s eyes shoot to his, steady for the first time since they started talking tonight. 

“I just really like you,” Josh says, soft. 

Ethan can only pray he hasn’t fucked them up beyond repair by bringing up the idea of breaking up. 

It makes his decision easy as he drops down next to Josh on the couch, the fight gone from his body. “I really like you too,” he admits. “I want us to stay together.” 

He feels like he’s laying himself out, bearing all his cards, and yet Josh wont even look at him. Nervously, Ethan inches back. “Josh?”

The eyes that finally meet his feel void. “Just- this hasn’t really been easy on me, you know?” 

All this time Ethan was so worried about himself, and his problems, and how their relationship would impact his own life, that he didn’t even think of Josh and how he’d feel, being dragged along as Ethan tries to figure his shit out. 

“Josh, I’m so sorry.” Ethan grabs his hand and prays he wont tear it away. “I’ve been so in my head, it’s not even an excuse. I’m just- I’m really sorry. I’m trying.” 

On baited breath, he waits for a reaction. It feels like seconds too long before one comes.

Josh’s slight smile is like the clouds parting. “It’s okay. Just, talk to Mark, okay? You need some time away. The channel, and work, and all this worry is making you crazy.”

For the first time that night, Ethan breathes a steady breath in. “I’ll tell him, I promise.” 

***

Three days later, Ethan comes home from filming and editing well past midnight. 

They’re finally ahead of schedule and everything’s looking good for at least the next two weeks. It feels like a weight off his back, even as the secret of his relationship grows heavier. But he thinks even that will be easier to tell Mark now that they’re both not as stressed. 

Throwing his keys on the counter, Ethan cleans up stray plates and refreshes Spencer’s water bowl on autopilot. He cant believe how late is it. 

Somehow, time always seems to slip away at Mark’s house. Editing had led to _drinking and editing_ , and then Amy came down with some food and a couple of Unus Annus ideas that needed to be hashed out. 

Hours had passed before they knew it. 

“Ready for bed?” Spencer perks up at his voice, already running out ahead of him to the steps that led up to his room. 

When Ethan kicks open the door, he isn’t expecting the shadow of a person to be silhouetted on his bed. His body reacts before his brain, and scared, he he stumbles back, the air caught in his lungs choking him up. 

He doesn’t unfreeze until the figure steps closer, into the light. 

“Josh?” Ethan’s voice stutters out the name with as much unease as relief, and blatantly, his hand goes to his chest, rubbing faintly at his pounding heart. “What are you doing here?” 

When he’s met with nothing but silence, he tries to think back, running over their texts in his head. “We didn’t plan anything for tonight, right?” 

Coldly, Josh huffs out a laugh. 

The sound leaves Ethan standing just inside his bedroom door, lost. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry, really.” He swears he can’t remember them saying they’d meet up tonight. 

“It’s fine, Ethan,” Josh says, in a tone that clearly means it’s anything but. 

“I didn’t remember us setting anything up,” Ethan swears. “And how did you even get in?” The moment the words leave his lips, Josh stalks forward. “Are you fucking kidding me, Ethan? That’s what you’re worried about?” This close, his anger is palpable, his breath coming out in harsh pants too close to Ethan’s face. 

“Josh,” Ethan tries to stay calm, “I wanna know how you got into my house.” 

“Fucking Katherine let me in after I was waiting outside for you for hours, Ethan. _Hours_. Where were you?” 

The guilt, the anger, the shame, leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Of course Katherine would’ve let him in. Ethan cant even look up at Josh. “It was a filming day,” he admits softly. 

Josh shoves him backwards so hard Ethan’s breath gets knocked out of his chest as he hits his bedroom wall. 

For a moment, all he can do is try to breathe, shock like a vice around his chest as he gasps for air. 

“ _Ethan _!” It’s Josh’s voice, echoing over and over. He tries to keep his hands up, to keep him away, but it’s hard as the ache in his lungs demands his full attention.__

__When the first fraction of air comes back to him, he realizes Josh is hovering over him on the floor, his eyes wide._ _

__“ _Ethan_?” _ _

__“I’m fine,” Ethan says, but the words come out as just a broken wheeze._ _

__“I didn’t mean to do that, I swear, Ethan.” Josh forces him look up at him, his hand on his jaw tight. “I don’t know my own strength, I was just so mad. I waited for you for hours and you just forgot about me.”_ _

__Ethan’s still dizzy when he tries to sit up, Josh’s hands there to guide him. When he tries to brush them away, they come back twice as tight._ _

__“I said I’m okay,” he repeats. Again, he tries to shake off Josh’s hold, but his hands just move to Ethan’s sweatshirt this time, bunching the fabric._ _

__“Ethan, say it,” Josh shakes him, “say you know I would never hurt you.”_ _

__The back of his head is still tingling from the impact. “I know,” Ethan promises. He thinks he believes it._ _

__“Let me help you up,” Josh says. It’s too soon, the room still spinning in half-circles, but Ethan clenches his jaw and refuses to get sick._ _

__When he’s tucked in, safe under his covers with Spencer at his side, Josh turns on his favorite show, the one he normally never lets Ethan put on._ _

__“Do you need water?”_ _

__Ethan doesnt get it- doesnt understand how they can go from arguing to shoving to babying in under five minutes. Josh must feel pretty bad, he tells himself. He gets how things can be sometimes, how anger can get the best of you. He knows Josh isn’t a violent person and he seems genuinely sorry, but even still, he’s scared to bring up everything that just happened. Too raw and too warm, Ethan’s throat gulps sharply over the words he cant say. “Yes, please,” he settles on, instead._ _

__When Josh disappears from his room, Ethan turns over in bed and replays the night in his head over and over again._ _

__They were both in the wrong, he decides, when his brain unhelpfully settles on the way Josh looked, heartbroken, after Ethan waltzed in unbothered, hours after he was apparently supposed to be home._ _

__“How’s your head?” Josh sets down the water he came in with and makes himself comfortable next to Ethan on the bed._ _

__It’s easier than it should be to ignore why exactly his head hurts. “It’s fine,” he lies. The pounding still hasn’t stopped, but burying his face away in Josh’s chest -and away from the light and sound of the tv- makes it ache a little less._ _

__“This is your favorite episode, right?” Josh asks._ _

__It’s not, but Ethan cant even follow the show with the thick cotton swirling in his head. “Yeah,” he says, “I love this one.”_ _

__

__***_ _

__

__In the morning, Ethan wakes up to an empty bed._ _

__It doesnt take long for him to notice his dresser is moved all the way across the room from where it normally is._ _

__Curious, he gets up and scouts the area. It looks fine where it is, but it didn’t look bad where it was before either._ _

__It shouldn’t be too hard to move, so Ethan drags it away from the wall in small pushes at a time. He only has to get it a foot or so away before understanding dawns on him._ _

__The drywall is cracked, perfectly to his height, perfect enough for the dresser to cover the damage._ _

__Silently, he pushes it back in place._ _

__

__***_ _

__

__It started like every other relationship._ _

__…Until it dissolved into something completely different._ _

__“Maybe skip the chips,” Josh says at the grocery store later that week._ _

__Ethan puts them down, wondering if Josh noticed the two pounds he's gained._ _

__And, “Cant you cancel your plans?" He says, the week after that. "We’ve barely hung out today.”_ _

__So Ethan tells his friends he’s sick._ _

__And, “Make sure you tell me when you’re done filming," he reminds Ethan each morning. "I want to know when you’ll be home.”_ _

__It’s just habit now, for Ethan to text the second he gets in his car._ _

__These small, abnormal things become painfully common, adding up over time in a way that chips at Ethan so gently he doesnt even realize what’s happening._ _

__It takes weeks for him to understand, the epiphany as painful as it is shocking._ _

__He’s starting at himself in the mirror when it happens, wondering when exactly his ribs started to show and when the the purple under his eyes made itself at home._ _

__It goes nicely with the reddening mark of a hand print around his wrist, his mind supplies intrusively._ _

__“Ethan?” Josh is just outside the bathroom door, his voice back to a soft, calming cadence. He hasn’t stopped apologizing, just like the night he pushed Ethan and cracked the dry wall in his bedroom._ _

__If once is by chance, and twice is a coincidence, then Ethan prays the sang must be true- and three times is when a pattern starts._ _

__

__***_ _

__

__It’s only natural the third incident comes within the same week._ _

__Ethan is back in the bathroom that’s slowly becoming his safe haven. The door is locked and the lights are off. He doesnt need them on to know that he’s bleeding, that he’s lost more weight, and that he’s gotten less sleep than the week before._ _

__With a hand pressed to his nose to staunch the blood, he wonders when makeup will stop being enough to cover Josh’s temper._ _

__It’s the pain, or maybe the realization that he’s finally fallen into a pattern, that forces his shaking hands to his pocket. The tremor is worse because of the adrenaline, bad enough that Ethan ignores the blood pooling into his mouth in favor of using both hands to unlock his phone._ _

__“ _We need to talk,_ ” he texts Mark. _ _

__He’s going to tell him. He’s going to tell him everything._ _


	3. Chapter 3

_present_

Mark waits until Ethan and Josh disappear upstairs to corner Tyler. “Could you at least try to be nice to him?” The whispered hiss of his words clearly carries his anger and yet still Tyler flippantly rolls his eyes at him. 

“All I know is that something happened to Ethan this last month,” Tyler says, glancing fruitlessly towards the stairs. He keeps his voice at talking level, seemingly not concerned about being overheard. “And that _something_ lines up right with this guy showing up in his life.” 

“So what?” Mark argues. “You’re going to treat him like shit without anything to actually go off of?” His question makes Tyler pause. 

“We both saw Ethan,” he says eventually, tone soft and timid. “That’s not nothing.” Mark knows the shock of it all too well. Between the weight loss and tense set to Ethan’s body, there’s not much left that’s recognizable of the friend they knew. 

“Did you even think about how this looks to Ethan though?” Mark can tell his question makes Tyler uncomfortable. Clearly, he hasn’t thought his game plan through. “He comes out to us, tells us he has a boyfriend, and then suddenly we’re suspicious assholes to the first guy he brings around?” 

Not convinced, Tyler shakes his head. 

He never gets his chance at a rebuttal as clambering feet sound, coming down the stairs and stopping their conversation in it’s wake. 

Breath held, they both wait for the footsteps to round the corner, but it’s just Ethan, his smile more genuine as he bounces into the kitchen. 

“Tyler!” He says, and launches himself at the older man. 

There’s not much time for him to react. Tyler’s arms barely have a second to outstretch themselves and wrap around the body flung into his. 

“Ethan,” Mark hears Tyler breathe out, happily bringing the younger in closer. 

Mark would be the last to admit that a pang of jealously awakens harshly in his gut. It’s been weeks since Ethan -who normally cant go a full day without invading his personal space- has willing gotten close enough to grab into a hug. 

“How was your flight in?” Ethan asks, when the two pull away. Earlier, with all the focus on Josh, Mark forgot that Ethan hadn’t seen Tyler before their short introduction earlier. And rightfully, Tyler doesnt let him stray far from the hug as they talk, keeping Ethan at arm’s length as he answers. “No complaints,” he says, then glances to Mark before he looks back towards the steps. “Where did Josh go?” 

The shift is immediate. Ethan shuffles back from Tyler’s hold and masks it by casually folding himself up to sit on the kitchen counter. “We just finished unpacking a bit. He’s going to take a shower since we hiked with Spencer earlier.” The dog in question is curled up a room over, probably stealing all of Henry’s toys. 

“That sounds nice,” Mark says, pointedly giving Tyler a glance he hope conveys ‘ _See! Normal couple shit._ ’ 

“It was,” Ethan agrees. “We used to take walks all the time but we kind of stopped for a while. It felt nice to do it again.” 

They go on, catching up on small things that feel important after not seeing each other for so long. Tyler, mostly, tells them about life back home. 

It’s not long enough after that Josh joins them in the kitchen, his dark hair still drying and his sweatpants clinging to his legs. “Getting reacquainted?” He asks. 

Mark hums and keeps going on about one of his new project ideas. 

It’s easy to babble on as his eyes keep a sharp watch on how Josh approaches Ethan. 

Being in someone’s house that’s practically a stranger to you can be uncomfortable, but somehow Josh makes it look effortless as he leans on the counter by Ethan, wrapping an arm around him and pressing a kiss to his cheek in hello before he tunes into Mark’s story. 

It’s sweet, Mark thinks, and glances to Tyler to see if he caught the intimate moment as well. 

The glare being shot across the kitchen back at him is obviously displeased. 

“I think I should probably shower too before dinner,” Ethan says, when their conversation dies down. Josh sweetly holds out his hand to Ethan as he slides down off the counter. 

“Go for it,” Mark says, “we’ll order food once you’re out.” 

With Ethan gone, Josh’s easy, relaxed posture gets stiffer. It’s just a slight thing -a twist of a shoulder, his arms going to cross against his chest- but it’s enough for Mark, who’s holding the guy under a microscope, to see. 

“Did you find the towels alright?” He asks him, just to bring him back into the conversation. 

“Oh yeah, thanks,” Josh answers. “Ethan was able to show me where everything was. Your guest room is amazing, by the way.” 

Mark laughs. It’s almost genuine. Amy was in a fit before they came, trying to get all the filming stuff moved out of the room. “I’m glad you like it. My girlfriend, Amy, is always complaining it needs to be redone but so far we haven’t had any complaints.” 

“It’s perfect,” Josh promises. 

Tyler pointedly clears his throat. 

“Should we sit down in the living room?” Mark asks, to cover it up. 

They talk about Ethan mostly and about filming while huddled around the coffee table as soft music filters through the speakers. 

It’s nice to be doing this, Mark thinks. It’s been so long since life has seemed normal. 

“Could I ask you both about something?” Josh asks. His serious tone brings Mark’s attention to him. “Of course, man,” he says easily, before his mind can run ramped with nonsensical guesses as to what he could want to bring up. 

“I know I haven’t know Ethan for very long or anything-” 

Tyler huffs out a humorless laugh. It doesnt stop Josh, who barely spares a glance his way. “But does he seem okay to you guys?” 

From across the room, his and Tyler’s eyes meet before Mark hesitantly nods. 

If it’s gotten bad enough for Josh, who’s nearly a stranger to them, to bring up an uncomfortable topic like this, then things with Ethan must be pretty obviously wrong. “We’ve definitely noticed the changes in him these last couple of weeks,” Mark admits, “It’s been pretty concerning, if I’m being honest.” 

Seeming unsatisfied, as if wishing he was just imagining the differences in Ethan, Josh slouches back in the recliner. “I’m concerned too.” His wringing hands tell Mark all he needs to know, the guy’s anxious and just as worried as they are. “He just came home from filming one day and it was like a switch flipped in him,” Josh explains. He looks lost in the memory, his eyes terribly sad. Mark can only imagine how difficult this has to be, especially in such a new relationship. 

“Did something happen?” Josh asks, finally looking up to him. 

Mark tries to think back, to remember when he finally noticed that Ethan wasn’t so _Ethan_ anymore, but it’s hard to place. 

“Three weeks ago to the day,” Tyler says, in Mark’s silence. He doesnt seem to have opened up any more towards Josh, but Mark’s happy that at least he’s talking to him in a way that’s not as hostile. “I sent Ethan a text and he never replied. After that, it would take days to get even one word answers from him.” 

“So nothing happened while you were filming?” Josh asks again, to Mark.

At a loss, Mark can only shrug. But maybe Josh is on to something, he thinks. Maybe it was something he did or said that just hit Ethan the wrong way. “I think I should’ve probably sat down and talked with Ethan about all of this a lot sooner,” he admits to the room. 

“I tried talking to him,” Josh says, but just from his body language Mark can tell it didn’t go well. “He shuts down so quickly.”

Knowingly, Mark nods. He thinks maybe it’s time they stop beating around the bush. 

***

Ethan gets out of the shower feeling like a new man. Even the mirrors cater to his good mood, fogged up enough that he’s spared from having to look at his own reflection. 

A week vacation, even one spent in the same place where they do most of their work, is exactly what he needs.

Though it’s been nearly six days since he promised himself he’d tell Mark everything, he’s almost glad he chickened out. Him and Mark had a conversation just yesterday about having to stay on their A-game with work if they want the year to go well and Ethan hates to think about the wrench he’d be throwing in everything if he brought his own home-life problems into the mix. 

It was always Mark who said dedication had to come first. It was always him that motivated Ethan to make it as far as he has in their profession. 

It doesnt hurt either that Josh seemed genuinely distraught after their last fight. He apologized with roses and bought Ethan one of the games he’d been eyeing up for weeks. Even the walks with Spencer have made a come-back. It feels like they’re finally on the same wave-length, especially after Ethan stood his ground, telling Josh what happened that night could never happen again. 

So far, things have taken a turn for the better. He likes to think he’s getting better at managing the bad that comes with the good too, knowing when to back off and when to push. 

Josh even promised he’d see a therapist. 

For once, it’s almost like everything is going to plan. 

Of course, it only takes till dinner’s wrapping up for that to change. 

“Ethan, could we talk?” Mark motions towards the patio, a half-pressed smile on his face. 

It’s second nature now for Ethan to look at Josh first. 

He gets the smallest nod in return and gets up to follow Mark willingly. 

It’s only once the sliding glass doors are closed and him and Mark are settled by the pool furniture that he gets suspicious. “Is everything okay?” 

A noncommittal shrug from Mark only makes him more nervous. “You tell me,” he says. 

It’s possibly the worst, most anxiety-inducing thing he could’ve said. 

Ethan knows he hasn’t been the most receptive these last few weeks and that he’s maybe looked a little rougher than normal, but he figured Mark would get it. Everyone goes through rough patches. “Everything is fine-”

“Ethan,” Mark cuts him off, “we’re all worried. Tyler’s worried. Amy’s worried. Even Josh brought up to us how concerned he is for you.” 

At that, Ethan’s head pops up. Saying he’s surprised would be an understatement. “He’s worried about me?” Looking back towards the house, he catches Josh’s stare through the window. He gets the smallest smile in return and for a moment Ethan cant stop himself from wondering what exactly Josh and Mark and Tyler were talking about while he was gone. The thought alone makes his stomach turn sickly. 

“Ethan,” Mark draws his attention back to him, his eyes sympathetic, “you’ve lost so much weight, you’re always so tense, and I swear it’s like you’re forcing yourself to smile and act normal. We can all tell something’s wrong.” 

“I’m on a diet,” Ethan defends, maybe too quick. “And I just had a couple of hard weeks. Everybody has that.” 

“It’s more than that,” Mark insists. 

“Is this because of Josh?” Ethan doesnt understand any of this. “What did he say to you? What did you say to him?” 

“Nothing-”

“Are you worried about my half of the work? Am I not doing enough?” 

“ _Ethan no_ -”

“Because I can work more, Mark. I have more ideas I can pitch and I’ll take over more of the editing, okay? Im sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” He doesnt realize he’s gotten to his feet, that he’s pacing the edge of the pool. “I can get some things put together tonight. Maybe I could pitch them to you and Amy tomorrow?” 

“ _Ethan_.” It’s Josh. 

Glancing around, Ethan feels like he’s lost time. Tyler and Amy are still at the door, Josh steps ahead of them while Mark stands feet away, his face carefully blank. 

“I’m sorry,” Ethan repeats. It feels like the right thing to do, especially as Josh works his way in-between Mark and him. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

Ethan just shakes his head. 

He’s not expecting Josh to turn on Mark. “What did you say to him?” He’s in his face so fast, so angry. 

_If he hits Mark_ \- 

Ethan’s breath catches in his throat. “I think I need to sit down,” he says. 

He feels dizzy. Everything’s too bright and too loud, and he swears he shouldn’t be able to hear the pounding of his heart in his ears or the high pitched buzz that’s ringing it’s way through his skull but he can. And it feels like it’s _there_ , right there under him, making the ground shake and blur while the commotion around him turns into just faint background noise. 

Like a beacon of stability breaking through the fog, Amy’s face comes into focus. “Ethan, you’re okay,” she promises. It’s not enough to stop the full-body flinch that wracks him as a hand tightens around his arm. “ _Dont,_ ” he begs. 

When he finally unravels enough to turn, he can see it’s just Tyler who’s closing in on him, helping steady him. 

“Let’s get you sitting,” he says, gentle. 

His grip redoubles, more grounding than anything, but still Ethan doesnt want Tyler with him. He should be with Mark, protecting him. 

Too weak to pull away, Ethan gives in. He needs Tyler, wants him to protect him even though Josh is his burden to bear. 

What he wants doesnt matter though, not as raised voices reach his ears. “Are they okay?” Ethan asks. He tries to look over Tyler’s build but he moves with Ethan, keeping Josh out of his line of site. 

“They’re just talking,” Amy promises, “they’re fine.” 

Ethan doesnt believe her until he finally catches a glance at them while Tyler’s shuffling him towards the house. 

“Yeah they’re _talking_ ,” Tyler says. His teeth are gritted, but he’s practically carrying Ethan. “And they’re going to continue to talk.”

“Okay,” Ethan agrees. Between his own shaky footsteps and Tyler’s larger gait, nausea has joined the dizziness. It’s distracting enough that he stops putting up a fight and instead takes Tyler’s word for it. 

***

“Why did he react like that?” Even to his own ears, Mark thinks his voice sounds like a scary type of calm. 

He’s heard people say something ‘boiled their blood’ before. Never before has he felt it though. Not like this. 

Anger is a physical heat. It’s raging inside of him, burning up every cell it touches. “ _Answer the question._ ” 

Josh wont look at him, his wide eyes overly innocent all while Ethan struggles to breathe between Tyler and Amy as he’s pulled towards the house. 

It’s that sight that makes Mark’s anger snap, red-hot. He doesnt mean to yell, really. “Why would Ethan flinch from Tyler?” 

Pacing in on Josh, he feels like a lion, stalking its prey, ready to tear it to shreds.

One step closer.

Then another. 

He doesnt think he’ll be able to control himself if he gets within arm’s reach. 

“Ethan flinched because he thought it was you, didn’t he?” The accusation comes overlapped with the sound of the patio door closing. Mark gets a mere final glance of Ethan -pale, sickly, and scared- huddled into Tyler, and that’s all he needs to see. 

“No,” Josh tries. But Mark cuts him off, “ _I’ll kill you_.” It’s a promise. 

He cant believe he gave his guy the benefit of the doubt, opened his doors to him, and made him a place at his dinner table. 

“What does one flinch prove?” Josh asks him. His hands are up, like he’s already trying to block the first blow. “It wasn’t me,” he says then, softer. 

It’s maybe the only thing he could possibly say that would stop Mark right now. “Then who was it?” 

“A guy at this bar we went to,” Josh says, quick. “I swear. Ask Ethan.” 

Mark cant tell if he’s just trying to protect his own ass. 

“I would never hurt him,” Josh promises. “He means the world to me.” His eyes, tearing up in the corners, don’t dissuade Mark.

He cant kill him without confirmation, though. 

“You’ll sit in the living room,” Mark decides, “while I go up and talk to Ethan. If he doesnt say the _exact same thing_ you better hope you’re out of my house by the time I come down those steps.” 

He doesnt stop himself from shoving Josh forward as they walk towards the house. 

“Sit,” he says, and pushes him onto the couch, for good measure. 

There’s something not right about all of this, besides the obvious. It all feels too fast, out of no where.

Once upstairs, Mark finds Ethan in the bathroom. He’s cross-legged in front of the toilet, Amy kneeling next to him and rubbing his back while Tyler stands guard at the door. 

“Are you okay?” Mark asks, first. 

Groaning, Ethan leans forward. “I think I forgot to take my meds with food.” 

“We just ate,” Mark says, before Amy’s meaningful glare can stop him. The silence that follows is telling. They all saw Ethan push his food around at dinner. 

Still, Mark thinks this is closer to panic-induced sickness than it is foodless medicine consumption. 

“Are you okay enough to talk for a minute?” He makes himself comfortable on the edge of the bathtub, close enough to reach out and brush back Ethan’s hanging bangs. He gets just a brush of clammy skin under his palm before Ethan turns towards him. 

It’s hard to ignore just how young he is as he’s curled up on the bathroom floor, his knees to his chest and his nose and eyes rubbed red from crying. “Did you and Josh talk?” He asks. 

Mark cant help the sharp uptick of his lips. “Yeah, we talked. I need you to tell me what’s really wrong. Josh mentioned a bar?” 

“A bar?” Ethan asks.

Mark nods and his fears are confirmed. “I mean, I haven’t gone to any bars since the pandemic started,” Ethan says. 

“So you never had something recently happen at bar with or without Josh?” Mark clarifies. 

“What is this, twenty questions?” Ethan looks to Amy and Tyler for help, but when he finds nothing he turns back to Mark. “Why are you asking me this?”

Mark knows he has to be careful from here on out, that he has to say this right and not be as blunt as he normally is. “Ethan, I want to know if Josh has ever hurt you.” 

Blank, unblinking green eyes watch him. “What do you mean?” 

Mark wont give him that out. “You know what I mean.” 

Slowly, Ethan’s knees pull closer to his chest. He shifts, squirms, even looks back to Amy or Tyler for help again, but there’s no way to ignore it any longer. The act is up. “He didn’t mean to.” 

It’s Ethan defending him that relights the fire within Mark. 

“I’ll be right back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted this to focus more on everyone's relationships but I think I decided I want it to be more about recovery 
> 
> anyway please let me know what you think or what direction you'd want to see this fic go! I never know what the next chapter is going to be but -as always- comments feed the writer :)


	4. Chapter 4

Mark has never seriously considered murder- that _he_ might murder someone. Sure there’s been times where his mind has strayed just a tad too far, but it’s never been _real_ before. Not like this. 

He thinks he gets it, that he finally understands why someone would kill someone else. It’s rage, hopelessness, fear, all bundled up too tightly in an oversewn body. There’s only one viable solution to get it all released: take away the stressor. 

“ _You_.” Mark’s almost proud of how scared Josh looks as he rounds the last steps into the living room. He wonders, briefly, how many times he made Ethan feel this same type of fear and how many times he reveled in the feeling.

It’s dangerously easy to let the grief take over from there, like autopilot, as Mark closes in on him. A second is all it takes for him to get his hands fisted in Josh’s shirt and to drag him to the ground in one harsh pull. 

It’s sick how satisfying it is. 

“Are you scared?” He mocks. 

“Please,” Josh begs. There’s snot and tears and apologies and none of it matters. He’s a fucking ugly crier. 

“How many times did Ethan beg you to stop?” 

When the answer doesnt come, Mark’s arms work without his permission. He pulls up and slams Josh back down, nearly loving how he can feel the air leaving his lungs. “ _Answer me_.” 

“I dont know.” 

Mark has to bite back a smile. “You don’t know?” He laughs, but it’s nearly demonic. “You ruined him. But you just don’t know? That’s your answer? That’s what you think will save you?” 

The sob that tears itself from Josh’s throat sounds raw. “Three times. It was three times.” 

“That you what?” Mark pushes. He wants the truth. He wants the satisfaction of seeing the moment it finally dawns on Josh that’s he’s about to get everything he deserves. 

“Three times that I beat him.” 

Mark shoves him against the hardwood again, then once more for good measure. Just when his fist is pulled back the only thing that could possibly stop him does. 

“ _Mark_.” It’s Ethan at the bottom of the steps, the horror on his face nearly heart-stopping. 

It’s how Mark knows he wont go any further than he already has. He couldn’t do that to Ethan, couldn’t fuck with his already twisted up headspace. 

There’s not going to any more violence in his house, not as long as Ethan is around and could see. Mark couldn’t handle the thought of himself bathed in that light, categorized in Ethan’s brain as just another threatening, violent thing. 

It’s why Mark lets his eyes glance down at Josh one last time to imagine the things he would’ve done. 

Finger by finger, as if regretting the decision already, he releases Josh’s shirt first, then lowers his fist. 

It’s the blatant relief of Josh’s head thudding back against the floor that brings back the boil to his blood. Control doesnt come easily. It takes him zeroing in on his hand, braced on Josh’s chest, to gain some semblance of balance as he feels Josh’s heart fluttering off rhythm. 

He’s the wild one, Mark reminds himself, he’s the one who hurts others in anger. 

The process is slow. 

It’s nearly impossible to walk away with his body still thrumming, begging for the fight. But when he does finally manage to stand -maybe by leaning too harshly on Josh’s rib cage to help himself up- Ethan has sunk down to sit on the steps. 

“Please wait upstairs,” Mark says softly. Stood over Josh like he’s merely ground he’s claimed, he’s still panting from the adrenaline. Ethan doesnt need to see any of this. 

“Dont tell me what to do.” 

It’s the old Ethan, petulant to the core, the one who pushes against each and every thing Mark says. 

“He’s leaving,” Mark says firmly and glances to Josh. He waits for Ethan to argue that too, but tonight is a night of small mercies. “Okay,” he agrees. 

Forcing Ethan to turn at the sound, Tyler comes down the steps. It gives Mark a chance to glance down one more time. 

He could still do it. 

“I have all your shit,” Tyler says to Josh. He makes it clear there’s not going to be any goodbyes. 

Like the gracious host he is, Mark breathes in one, calming breath and manages to pull Josh to his feet, already prodding him towards the door. And when Josh tries to get a glance back at Ethan, a shove gets thrown in for good measure. 

“Keep moving,” Tyler threatens from behind them. 

“We took Ethan’s car here,” Josh says at the door. It’s cute that he thinks that will change anything. 

“You’ve got feet,” Mark reminds him sweetly. “Use them.”

The sound of the door closing and the lock sliding into place feels like release.

It’s only Ethan choked off, smothered sob that sucks the satisfaction from the room. 

By the time Mark has even registered the sound, Tyler is there, pulling Ethan into his arms. “You’re safe,” he promises, over and over again. The rocking of his arms, addled by the sway of their bodies as they hold onto each other, does nothing to calm the gut-wrenching whimpers being pulled from Ethan’s throat. 

All Mark can do is clasp onto Ethan’s shoulder and pray their support is enough to pull him back to the kid they once knew. 

It feels like hours that the three of them stand there. 

Though Mark’s convinced himself he made the right decision by letting Josh walk away, a part of him still regrets it. He wishes he could’ve had one moment of vengeance, just something to hold onto to help brave the fight they have ahead of themselves. 

“I’m sorry,” Ethan says, when he’s finally stopped crying, “this is all my fault.” If his red nose and clumped eyelashes weren’t pathetically sweet enough, he hiccups down another sob as his eyes water. 

“You’ve apologized so much these last two months.” It’s an observation that should’ve cued Mark in month’s ago. “But none of this is your fault.” 

When Ethan’s eyes finally glance up to meet his, there’s something hard to them. “I still like him,” he says, snuffling into his sweatshirt sleeve. “Isn’t that sick?” 

It feels like a taunt. Like he’s trying to get a rise out of them to see what they’d do. 

“He was your boyfriend,” Mark reasons, “It’s okay to miss who you thought he was.” 

His answer and lack of a physical response seems to upset Ethan even more. “But he was good. More good than bad.” 

They’re not going to fix everything in one night. These things take time. 

Tyler hands Ethan another bunch of tissues. “He was manipulative,” he says. “He wanted you to love him.” 

Ethan squares his jaw. “And I did.” 

“And you did,” Mark agrees. 

Finally, the fight seems to leave them all as Ethan deflates. “Can I go to bed?” 

After the day they’ve all had it doesnt need to be asked twice. 

***

Around three in the morning Mark finds himself pacing the hallway. It’s purely coincidental that he hears a whimper coming through the door to Ethan’s room. 

That one sound is all it takes. 

Easing the door open in a slow, practiced way he holds his breath and prays he doesnt wake Ethan. 

“Eth?” He whispers, just for good measure. 

No response comes, only the shuffling sound of an unsteady sleep. 

Mumbling to himself, it’s obvious whatever dream Ethan’s lost in isnt a good one. His brow, usually relaxed in sleep, is instead pinched close. 

“You’re okay,” Mark promises him. Just his voice seems to snap Ethan from his nightmare’s hold. 

It’s too easy to crawl in beside him, to make himself at home next to the man he’s shared everything from a career to his own clothes with for the past five years. 

“I’ve got you,” he promises. The void of darkness swallows up his voice, but the sentiment stays permeant, burned into his arms that refuse to let Ethan stray from his hold. 

It’s going to be a long time before he trusts himself again, before he believes his own intuition after what almost happened tonight. He knows if Ethan wasn’t there nothing would’ve stopped him and that scares him more than he’d like to admit. 

Just how far would he go, to protect the people he loves? 

Would he have killed Josh? Murdered him? 

What would they do then? What would Ethan do? 

He has to physically shake himself to rid his mind of the thought. 

Ethan needs him here, he reminds himself, to be the steady pillar he can lean on when everything else is coming down around him. 

A shadow right past the door shocks Mark still. Unconsciously, his arms tighten around Ethan. He’s ready for anything. 

The door eases open until a figure is blocking the hallway light. 

“Cant sleep too?” It’s Tyler who’s stood there, looking just as helpless and lost as Mark feels. 

“Not even a little bit,” Mark answers. The light shinning in makes Ethan twist around in his sleep. 

It’s as good a reason as any for Tyler to let himself in, shutting the door and the hallway light out of the room. He makes himself comfortable on the edge of the bed, his hand searching through the blankets until he finds Ethan under the covers. 

Mark can see his hand tense and knows better than most the feeling of Ethan slipping through your fingers while he’s right in front of you. 

“Tyler,” the call for his attention barely makes it past Mark’s lips. “It’ll get better.” It’s a promise he cant keep, but the need to reassure him right now as everything feels out of place hangs heavy on his shoulders.

“Ethan trusts you,” Tyler says. “That’s all we need.” 

Mark thinks back to Josh’s terrified face, how out of control he felt standing over him. “I don’t trust myself.” 

“Josh left here breathing. That’s more control than I would’ve managed if Ethan wasn’t with me.” Somehow, Tyler’s eyes seem more haunted by what he hadn’t done. 

“I would’ve killed him,” Mark says seriously. He waits for the disproval to show on Tyler’s face, for him to pull back from him like the rabid animal he is. “If Ethan didn’t come down the steps, I know I would have.” 

The reaction he gets is as concerning as it is relieving. “Mark,” Tyler shakes his head, almost in disbelief, “I would’ve buried the body.” 

In that moment something breaks between the two of them. Mark loses a piece of himself to the thought, knowing and accepting the path they could’ve gone down tonight. 

“I wouldn’t regret it,” Mark decides, then glances down to Ethan’s peaceful, sleeping face. “As long as he never knew.” 

“ _As long as he never knew_ ,” Tyler echos. 

It’s the only goodnight they give each other as Tyler gets up slowly to avoid disturbing Ethan. 

By the time morning comes, Mark has come to terms with the knowledge that sometimes good people have to do bad things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments feed the writer :)
> 
> Please let me know where you want to see this fic go, I love hearing all your ideas and insight!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments feed the writer :)


End file.
